Thursday, August 7, 2008
Here are a few assorted heckler stories that I have started putting up on here and other places.
Heckler Stories :-
Heckler ! What constitutes a heckler ?
The American Heritage dictionary describes :-
heck·le 1) To try to embarrass and annoy (someone speaking or performing in public) by questions, gibes, or objections; badger.
2) To comb (flax or hemp) with a hatchel.
3) An asshole , usually drunk, who tries to interrupt my fun of telling jokes with his/her own shouts which are usually unfunny.
A heckler is an annoyance at any comedy show. However , a heckler is also a double edged sword. While a heckler can ruin an inexperienced comics show an experienced comic can successfully turn the crowd against the heckler and take the show to a much higher level by adding the element of vigor and energy which makes a live show better than anything you can see on TV.
Here are my heckler stories :-
1) Venue :- Pepperbellys in Fairfield,Ca.
Week :- July 17th to 20th
Heckler Classification :- Drunk and disorderly.
Story :- Shane Murphy is hosting and Dat Phan is headlining. The guy that was drunk even before he entered the club heckled Shane intermittently through his set. Shane announces me and even before I say a word I hear 'Hey where is your turban ?' I have to acknowledge that. There is no way one could NOT acknowledge that as the audience gasped when they heard that. So I very calmly said ' I left the turban in your mom's bedroom. She is waiting for me to come back and treat her like the queen that your dad never did.' A good way to start the show if the fantastic applause was anything to go by. After about 10 minutes he piped again and I used my standard line about how I am going to fuck you in more positions than you can count and after that the bouncer took him out.
2) Venue :- San Jose Improv in San Jose ,Ca
Date :- Pundits with Punchlines date on July 24th.
Heckler Classification :- Intelligent interested customer.
Story :- Right after I did the first half of the joke about the Israeli Palestinian conflict two guys from Israel sitting very close to the front said something to the affect 'Hey you be very careful now.' I told them I was not afraid of their Krav Maga and that you should be thankful to Hindus for having the most peaceful swastika around. Then did the second part of the joke and they said 'We love you.' Nothing like Jewish guilt soaked love. Seems like their mama's raised good kids.
3) Venue :- U.C. Berkeley , Berkeley,Ca
Date :- July 21st
Heckler Classification :- Cutesy Underage Jailbait
Story :- Performing in front of a mainly high school crowd of International students a late comer to the show ( I went up about 45 minutes into the show) waved to me . I asked her 'Why are you late ?'. To which she replied ' Oh . I was in a class. Sleeping 101.' My answer 'Sleeping 101 is not offered after you pass the 7 year mark. You are much more suited for sleeping around 101.' The crowd response was GREAT however in retrospect I should have checked what her age was before making the joke. She was 19 as I found out later so I am in the clear.
4) Venue :- Laugh Trax Live in Stockton,Ca
Date :- August 1st
Heckler Classification :- Clueless person who went to a comedy show 20 years after her first one.
I was headlining the Laugh Trax Live yesterday and while doing the joke about frying a pet a woman in the front row shouted out 'Don't do that I am a dog person.' I had to respond to that. So I asked her what kind of dog she had . To which she replied 'Siberian Huskie'. Siberian Huskie in Stockton where the temperature was 95. I think you ARE frying the dog. The applause break lasted for about 55 seconds. I talked with her after the show and she was the nicest lady ever. Thanks for coming to my show and spending your entertainment dollars on my show.