This is an essay I wrote a few years back when I first started hearing the term "The war on Christmas."
How The Atheists Stole Christmas
Well, apparently the PC Liberals, atheists, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, etc. are trying to steal Christmas, bastards that we are. Yes, we've gone and forced the stores to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, at gun point if memory serves. Too bad we weren't as effective in trying to get their red, white and blue "We love a good war" decor down during the rest of the year.
I caught wind of the story while watching the evening news. I'm amazed at what can be considered newsworthy. There's a war on for Christ's sake, oops, sorry, already mentioned the war, guess I'm being redundant.
At any rate, say Merry Christmas if you'd like. Nobody will stop you. If a store wants to say Happy Holidays, and thereby wish the Christians a merry Christmas, The Jews a happy Chanukah, the Muslims a solemn Ramadan and the Hindus a festive Diwali in the most efficient way, how on earth could you find a problem with this?
One woman, interviewed on the news last night, said "This is the first thing the communists did, getting rid of religion!" HA! Lady, we're not afraid of commies any more, at least not until the ones in South America get a bit stronger. It's all about terrorists now you silly woman. One must keep one's hysterical fears up to date now. And remember, the first thing the terrorists do is to push their own fanatical religion ON the populace. My point? Quick, push your own religion first, they're coming!!!
In closing this rant let me assure you, I will not insist that the stores put up "Happy cold, noisey, crappy music, consumer-hell season!" if they want my business. I'll just assume that this is one of the sentiments they intended to cover when they said, Happy Holidays.