Friday, October 24, 2008

Happy Holidays?

This is an essay I wrote a few years back when I first started hearing the term "The war on Christmas."

How The Atheists Stole Christmas
Well, apparently the PC Liberals, atheists, Muslims, Jews, Hindus, etc. are trying to steal Christmas, bastards that we are. Yes, we've gone and forced the stores to say Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas, at gun point if memory serves. Too bad we weren't as effective in trying to get their red, white and blue "We love a good war" decor down during the rest of the year.

I caught wind of the story while watching the evening news. I'm amazed at what can be considered newsworthy. There's a war on for Christ's sake, oops, sorry, already mentioned the war, guess I'm being redundant.

At any rate, say Merry Christmas if you'd like. Nobody will stop you. If a store wants to say Happy Holidays, and thereby wish the Christians a merry Christmas, The Jews a happy Chanukah, the Muslims a solemn Ramadan and the Hindus a festive Diwali in the most efficient way, how on earth could you find a problem with this?

One woman, interviewed on the news last night, said "This is the first thing the communists did, getting rid of religion!" HA! Lady, we're not afraid of commies any more, at least not until the ones in South America get a bit stronger. It's all about terrorists now you silly woman. One must keep one's hysterical fears up to date now. And remember, the first thing the terrorists do is to push their own fanatical religion ON the populace. My point? Quick, push your own religion first, they're coming!!!

In closing this rant let me assure you, I will not insist that the stores put up "Happy cold, noisey, crappy music, consumer-hell season!" if they want my business. I'll just assume that this is one of the sentiments they intended to cover when they said, Happy Holidays.

Happy Holidays!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Saturday, October 18, 2008

God wins first lawsuit !

God Wins In Nebraska Court

Morning Edition, October 16, 2008 · Nebraska state Sen. Ernie Chambers sought an injunction against God last year for widespread death and destruction. Judge Marlon Polk threw out the suit, saying there's no way to properly notify the defendant. You can't serve papers on a suspect with no address. Chambers says he may appeal. He says God is aware of the charges because he is all-knowing.


This brings up a couple of interesting points.

1) They let God go because they couldn't serve her papers ? How about recruiting the Pope to be a server ? He already has all the disguises he needs.
2) Does Mr.Chambers have to fear an 'acts of God' towards him ? This would , atleast , solve the problem of whether or not the God he believes in is a vengeful one or not.

The most important words in 2) above were the words 'acts of God'. It is the power of language of fine print that the insurance companies have levied upon us that we associate a NEGATIVE feeling with the words 'acts of God'. Why ? Everytime a tree gives a fruit its an act of God. Everytime anyone gets a good blowjob its an act of God .(If it is really good then you WILL remember God !). Everytime a puppy takes a tumble after a sneeze , its an act of God.

The Atheist argument that loss of faith is warranted because of all the death and destruction in the name of God. Here is the fallacy in the same . It is a human choice to do the things in the name of God. They could do it in the name of anything. Stalin killed about 20 million in the gulags in the name of 'progress'. I don't see any atheists saying being progressive is bad.

The advent of organized religion is at the most 8000 years back. Before then everyone was spiritual. There were still a LOT of killings that went on in those days. Heck , mankind came down to about 300 people once due to all the killings that went on. If they didn't believe in any Gods then atheism should take responsibility for almost destroying mankind - I don't think relegion has done that - yet !

We are working on a guide to the holidays from all religions. Keep an eye out for the same !

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Obama Roasts McCain


American Politics at it's finest.

McCain roasts Obama

This is awesome!

The Debates

I was lovin' the debates. The part where the older candidate said to the younger candidate, "I eat pieces of poo like you for breakfast."

And then the younger candidate said, "You eat pieces of poo for breakfast!?"

Oh man, that was AWESOME!

Then my wife got home and pointed out that the debates were on a different channel and I was apparently watching Happy Gilmore.

So, I switched over to the actual debates.

BOOORRRRRIIIIINNNNGGGGG!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Six More Show in 2008

We head up to Seattle and Portland in the first week of November. Then we have The Throckmorton in Mill Valley and The Crest Theater in Sacramento before heading back to LA for The Improv. We close the season with our second annual appearance at The SF Atheist's Winter Solstice Party.
Then in the new year, some well deserved and much needed rest as Tapan heads to India for a spell (a spell as in a short time, not literally a spell, not as far as I know anyway.)
Information on all of our shows HERE.

Can you help? Of course. We aren't a big budget, motor home having, entourage and hanger on sporting tour. We can use your help getting the word out. IF you've seen the tour, or if you're just excited about what we're doing, PLEASE, post to your blogs, send out e-vites, organize friends to come out and I promise, we'll do our part and bring the funny.
See you at the shows.

Monday, October 13, 2008

If Obama = Osama then ......

Palin = Stalin .

* Both come from cold lands.
* Both hate their children -
Palin said yes to the VP seat when her Down's syndrome baby was just a few months old.
Stalin let his son die in a concentration camp. When his son shot himself and failed Stalin said ' He can't even shoot straight.'

* Both are white and had alliances with men near death . Stalin with Lenin and Palin with McCain

* Both could see Russia from their house !

Posted by Tapan

Seven in Twelve

It feels strange not to have a show this week. I've had 7 in the past 12 days and 5 of those were with The Coexist? Comedy Tour.

We hit Sunnyvale, Fairfield, San Diego, LA and Stockton. Thanks to everyone who came out to laugh with us. We had a great time at each of the shows and I really enjoyed performing with our special guest Bryan Malow, one funny Jew.

We've had some great articles written about us and my favorite was written by Aaron Davis for 209 Vibe. Here it is:

The five members of the “Coexist?” Comedy Tour hadn’t previously discussed the possibility of a group field trip to go see Bill Maher’s new world religion documentary “Religulous.”

I suggested the idea. They loved it. And that was the end of my contribution to the conversation when I joined “The Christian,” “The Hindu,” and “The Atheist” at Peet’s Coffee in Midtown Sacramento last week. The rest of the interview was the three of them keeping me in stitches for 40 minutes.

With help from two other religion reps, the three form the “Coexist?” Comedy Tour, which started with small performances in Sacramento and has since become a religion-jabbing sensation.

The five members of “Coexist?” perform at the Empire Theatre on Saturday, October 11. The Empire is at 1825 Pacific Ave on the Miracle Mile. The show gets rolling at 8 p.m. and tickets are $20. For info, call (209) 943-SHOW or log on to www.brownpapertickets.com.

“It wasn’t like, ‘let’s tackle the challenge of seeing if we can get along, let’s do something with the fact that we do get along,’” said Keith “The Atheist” Lowell Jensen. “But people getting along doesn’t make the news, people fighting makes the news. So, we added an element to the getting along; we get along, and we’re funny.”

What began as a series of local performances at Midtown’s Geery Theatre quickly turned into a local craze when these five comics of different religions began taking jabs at each other with gut-busting results.

Oh, and by the way, it’s not an “act” and the comedians aren’t playing characters; they actually are of their respective religions.

“When we saw (the popularity of the shows), we realized we were on to something,” said Tapan “The Hindu” Trivedi. “You can’t really do a lot of religious material at an open mic, it just doesn’t resonate, and you don’t have that confidence where it’s going to work every time.”

“I struggled with that as well,” said John “The Christian” Ross. “When we first did the Geery shows, they were awesome and the crowd was ready to hear God stuff, so you start thinking you’re a really great comic. Then you go to a bar and people aren’t even sure what they’re going to hear.”

Throw Tissa “The Muslim” Hami and Sammy “The Buddhist” Obeid into the mix, and it creates a safe forum for the five to take swipes at each other’s system of beliefs. The five will frequently check each other on the accuracy of their individual material, and live and die by the criteria that, quite simply, it all has to be funny.

“We’re not saying ‘everybody is right, we can all get along because we can all be right,’” Jensen said. “No! It’s written into the religions that you don’t believe they’re all right; there is no God but God. Our point is, you don’t have to water down your own beliefs to get along.

“If you laugh at something with someone, nothing connects you more with each other than that.”

“That’s why it’s ‘Coexist,’” Trivedi said. “We accept you for who you are, we just want to coexist with you. We don’t want to change you, we just want you to see where we are coming from.”

“At the same time, I feel like it gives me a safe place to question and be honest with my fragile religion,” Ross said. “I can see sometimes how ridiculous some things with Christianity are as well, and I have a safe place to do that.”

“Even my family has said you better be careful, don’t get sucked in,” Ross added. “But, we’re five comics, we’re not the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”

“That’s because we haven’t gotten horses yet,” said Jensen. “I get to be Pestilence!”

“If five comics are supposed to bring about the end of the world,” Trivedi said, “then it’s a good way to go.”

Saturday, October 11, 2008

The Next Virgin Birth

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/10/081010-shark-virgin-birth-2.html

The National Geographic today reported that a female blacktip shark was pregnant without the aid of a male shark.

Two very important conclusions - this goes on to show that even in the animal kingdom - sharkdom - the importance of males have gone down. In humans you know that males are purely accessories with the advent of sperm banks , Jiffy Lube and reasonably priced jar opening devices.

The other conclusion is that the VIRGIN BIRTH i.e. the Immaculate Conception that is one of the miracles of Christianity might actually be the sign of evolution. I don't know but I am proposing a theory that while the holy mother Mary was a young girl the men in her town were all horrendously ugly and thus she actually started the process of parthenogenesis in her body. Later came the marriage to Joseph who she found a OK. And then the virgin birth actually took place.

This actually might be the closest that creationism and evolution will come together. Next to Hanuman that is.

Tapan Trivedi

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Pope sells off his jewelry to help the poor?

http://www.catholic.org/international/international_story.php?id=29966

The Pope has announced that money is relatively worthless compared to the word of God and he decried the materialism that has enchanted the world.

He then took off all of his gold and put it immediately up for auction. Next to go were his fancy slippers, ostentatious living quarters and finally he will be parting with the platinum spinner rims recently installed on his Pope-mobile.

PTSD

I'm having 'Nam-like flashbacks to those conversations in that car ride to LA. Cannot. Get. Those. Images. Out. Of. My. Head.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Saturday, October 4, 2008

One Atheist's take on "Religulous"

I saw Religulous, the new Bill Maher documentary on Religion, last night at a packed theater in Sacramento.

Bill Maher starts the film off in a "Trucker's Church" and it seems he will indeed take the snooty "Smart guy makes fun of the stupid people" approach that I was loath to waste much time with.

But he is compassionate with the men in the church. He tries to have a very sincere conversation, of course with his sense of humor in place, and then he allows them to pray over him. He establishes that the every day religious people are not his enemy, even if he find fault with their thought process.

Then he jumps to talking with a human genome scientist who is Christian and establishes that yes there are smart religious people.

From here, he mostly visits with people that he wishes to ridicule but they're not the stupid people or the smart believer, they're the people who are getting rich off of selling faith or who are embroiled in religious conflict and violence. These are people you like seeing ridiculed.

But Maher doesn't give them a fair chance to speak, he makes rebuttals in the editing room that his interviewees have no chance to respond to. So, for the most part this is like illustrated stand up comedy. But it is GREAT comedy. Maher makes strong points and does so hilariously.

And some of his guests, particularly an older Catholic Priest (I may have his honorific wrong) who is the funniest most charming person in the whole flick, steal the spotlight at times.

Maher does not stray from the big three religions and considering how many Hindus there are in the world and their role, both good and bad in the world's religious conflicts I thought this was an unfortunate omission. Not to mention the Bahai (my favorite target for ridicule) Buddhists, etc. I know he couldn't cover them all but I would have touched on these before Scientology which is one of the few "other" religions he lays into.

At movies end, Maher makes it clear that he is in the "No hope for human kind so long as religion remains" camp with a an impassioned speech in a dramatic location. Unfortunately it seems not to have occurred to him or the filmmakers that this is the scene where Maher's humanity was most needed. The camera angle and the bright sun and Maher's dark small eyes leave him looking like a demon from Buffy The Vampire Slayer.

I saw a movie that says many things I've heard before but am glad to see being broadcast to wide audience and I laughed my ass off.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

An Apology

While I don't think that the complaints lobbied against me last night were completely fair, I will nonetheless offer an apology for the unfortunate misunderstanding.
When I offered, on our facebook page and elsewhere, to "Rock the Rooster" at last nights show at Rooster T Feathers I assure you I had NO idea that this expression had another connotation.
So, to those of you who showed up with your "rooster" at hand expecting to have it "rocked"I am sincerely sorry. I will avoid use of that phrase in the future...

...except when auctioning off dates with our Christian comic John Ross, who will happily rock the rooster of the highest bidder(s).

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

India Currents Magazine

India Currents interviewed Tapan and Tissa for their latest issue.

Hindu comic Tapan Trivedi is now an educator—in a way. He is one of five interfaith comics in the Coexist? Comedy Tour, which aims to diminish religious stereotypes and prejudice through laughter.
Click here to read the rest at India Currents' web site...

A Message from The Buddhist

This message was sent out to us Coexist Comedians last night by our Buddhist Sammy Obeid.

Hey guys,

Just letting you know that my parents will be coming tomorrow, and if they here one curse word or reference to sex they won't let me be in the troupe anymore. Anyway, just a heads up...keep it "church clean". K, Thanks!

Oh, and they don't like political or religious stuff.

K, sleep well!
Sammy