Friday, June 26, 2009

Our Jew Rules!

Oh man, Moshe Kasher got Best of the Fest at The RoofTop Aspen Comedy festival.
We TOLD you we were bringin' you the best comics around!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Coexist? Comedy Tour Youtube Contest


Hi! Want to win $100, get 4 VIP tickets to see The Coexist? Comedy Tour and earn the LOVE and ADORATION of all? Of course you do. So, enter the Coexist? Comedy Tour Video Contest.
You can down load audio directly from the youtube clip, if you know how to do that, or get it here in .wav and mp3 formats:
http://www.coexistcomedy.com/cct_contest_audio.wav
http://www.coexistcomedy.com/cct_contest_audio.mp3

Then you can find lots of pictures of us. Start with the ones here: www.CoexistComedy.com/press
You'll see our big logo and beneath it our headshots. Click the images for larger versions.
And, if you need more google Coexist Comedy and/or our individual names in google images. You'll get LOTS of stuff. Heck you can find lots of video of us online too.

Or, get out the crayons, or spray paint or colored pencils and puppets!

Have your video up by May 22nd. Every entry (that isn't super lazy, or insulting, etc.) wins one free ticket to The Coexist? Comedy Tour.

Here is the script if you want to redo the audio yourself:
The Coexist Comedy Tour story starts with Tapan Trivedi, an Indian.. No, the kind from India.
Just think of that kid from Slum Dog Millionare only Tapan had a home, and parents, but he grew up around real live monkeys and that is way cool.
So he leaves India to study business or technology or something boring like that and he chooses to do so in America because he loves Bruce Springsteen, no really.
Once here he discovers Stand Up Comedy, much more fun than studying. Actually he discovers blonds and red heads, much much more fun than studying, but he discovers that the best way to meet said blonds and redheads is stand up comedy.
As a Hindu Tapan has many, many Gods and he is surprised to meet his spiritual opposite. Atheist comedian Keith Lowell Jensen. Keith has no gods, not one.
The two immediately hit it off as they LOVE making fun of each other's religion and lack there of. In fact it's too much fun to keep to themselve's so they bring in
A JEW, A Christian, A Muslim and a Buddhist and The Coexist Comedy Tour is Born heading out across this great land, by van, no airline on earth is going to let this bunch past security.
In your town soon.
Come out for a night of Sacred Cow Tipping!
www.CoexistComedy.com"

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

We're Back

Yeah, We're back on the road. with shows booked from LA to Seattle.

You'll see some new faces and there are more new faces to come so if you've seen us before, come see us again. New jokes, some new comics and you'll have forgotten some of the old jokes anyway ya drunken louse.

Very excited about 2009. I'm going to pick up one them cool digital cameras and do a better job of documenting our adventures on the road.

Oh, and dig the new artwork. Thanks to the amazing Tom Working for that. Visit him here: www.fal.net/tomworking/ and give him work. He likes work. He'll give you a good deal on a tattoo.

See you all soon...

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

OMG

OMG I just ran into the Gene Simmons atheist guy AGAIN. AGAIN!!! This time in Union Square. And once again, I couldn't remember his real name.

So, I know some people/religions believe in the powers of the universe, in destiny, in the hand of fate, and all that other mystical cosmic stuff. I have now run into Gene Simmons atheist guy on the street twice in the span of a few weeks. Is the universe trying to tell me something? What do atheists think about these types of coincidences? Keith?

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Gaza protest

I went to the Gaza protest in San Francisco yesterday, and guess who I saw? The Gene Simmons atheist guy! I was like, wait, it's him, it's the Gene Simmons atheist guy. I wanted to get his attention but I realized I didn't know his real name. So I yelled out, "Hey, Gene Simmons atheist guy!" And it turns out he doesn't respond to that name. Who knew?

Things I learned yesterday:

1. Israel is a brutal terrorist state.
2. Learn people's real names.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Under God....




So there is a lawsuit filed by none other than Michael Newdow to remove the 'Under God' to remove the phrase "so help me God" from the oath because the Constitution does not require its statement and the phrase possibly violates the Establishment Clause.

Now the populi en-masse has the cringed reaction to this. Should Mr.Obama be ostracized by pulling the phrase and offend most of the country ? Or should he dedicate his time and talent trying to save the value of our money that the God we trust in hasn't been able to save ? I would rather have him do the later. We can save the lawsuit for the second term. Let the guy do what we elected him for.

The gut reaction that many God fearing people have is that if we remove Under God then what should we replace it with ? Canada ? One nation under Canada ? Sounds OK by me.

Or alternatively the atheists should insist that we take not just the pronoun God but the actual name of God as given in the Bible (lets give the Christians this one since Christianity is the most popular religion in the U.S. of A.). What is the name of God you say ? Its Jealous. The Bible is the actual word of God and if God says ,like he does in

Exodus 34:14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God .

Note that the Hebrew translation, for once, is accurate. Look up the words 'shem' and 'qanna' for more information.

I think I just made you go GODDANGIT. Or rather JealousDangit !

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Would You Rather Be Hilariously Funny or Drop-Dead Gorgeous?

So I was reading my Glamour magazine -- as I'm sure all you guys do every month -- when I came across an article with the following title: Would You Rather Be Hilariously Funny or Drop-Dead Gorgeous?

http://www.glamour.com/sex-love-life/blogs/smitten/2009/01/would-you-rather-be-hilariousl.html

My first impulse was, DUH, are they really asking this? Isn't the answer obvious? My answer -- with apologies to feminists and fellow stand-up comics everywhere -- is DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS of course.

There, I said it. Ahem.

Does this make me a traitor to my profession? To my gender? To my Brown degree? Who knows. Who cares. The simple (sad?) truth is, I'd take gorgeous over funny any day.

I figured other women would feel exactly and I mean EXACTLY the same way. So I started reading the comments below the article and, shockingly, most everyone picked haha's over looks. What?!

As a professional stand-up comic -- and I'll go out on a limb here and say as someone who's more "hilariously funny" than "drop-dead gorgeous" -- let me tell you that being funny ain't all that. But looks? Damn. That's your meal ticket right there.

Okay I'm off to read some Naomi Wolf....