Sunday, January 11, 2009

Gaza protest

I went to the Gaza protest in San Francisco yesterday, and guess who I saw? The Gene Simmons atheist guy! I was like, wait, it's him, it's the Gene Simmons atheist guy. I wanted to get his attention but I realized I didn't know his real name. So I yelled out, "Hey, Gene Simmons atheist guy!" And it turns out he doesn't respond to that name. Who knew?

Things I learned yesterday:

1. Israel is a brutal terrorist state.
2. Learn people's real names.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Under God....

So there is a lawsuit filed by none other than Michael Newdow to remove the 'Under God' to remove the phrase "so help me God" from the oath because the Constitution does not require its statement and the phrase possibly violates the Establishment Clause.

Now the populi en-masse has the cringed reaction to this. Should Mr.Obama be ostracized by pulling the phrase and offend most of the country ? Or should he dedicate his time and talent trying to save the value of our money that the God we trust in hasn't been able to save ? I would rather have him do the later. We can save the lawsuit for the second term. Let the guy do what we elected him for.

The gut reaction that many God fearing people have is that if we remove Under God then what should we replace it with ? Canada ? One nation under Canada ? Sounds OK by me.

Or alternatively the atheists should insist that we take not just the pronoun God but the actual name of God as given in the Bible (lets give the Christians this one since Christianity is the most popular religion in the U.S. of A.). What is the name of God you say ? Its Jealous. The Bible is the actual word of God and if God says ,like he does in

Exodus 34:14 For thou shalt worship no other god: for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God .

Note that the Hebrew translation, for once, is accurate. Look up the words 'shem' and 'qanna' for more information.

I think I just made you go GODDANGIT. Or rather JealousDangit !

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Would You Rather Be Hilariously Funny or Drop-Dead Gorgeous?

So I was reading my Glamour magazine -- as I'm sure all you guys do every month -- when I came across an article with the following title: Would You Rather Be Hilariously Funny or Drop-Dead Gorgeous?

My first impulse was, DUH, are they really asking this? Isn't the answer obvious? My answer -- with apologies to feminists and fellow stand-up comics everywhere -- is DROP-DEAD GORGEOUS of course.

There, I said it. Ahem.

Does this make me a traitor to my profession? To my gender? To my Brown degree? Who knows. Who cares. The simple (sad?) truth is, I'd take gorgeous over funny any day.

I figured other women would feel exactly and I mean EXACTLY the same way. So I started reading the comments below the article and, shockingly, most everyone picked haha's over looks. What?!

As a professional stand-up comic -- and I'll go out on a limb here and say as someone who's more "hilariously funny" than "drop-dead gorgeous" -- let me tell you that being funny ain't all that. But looks? Damn. That's your meal ticket right there.

Okay I'm off to read some Naomi Wolf....